For the past few years I've been making images of sea-life. For many reasons, I've connected with and found the pure beauty within these creatures....but a colorful fish or even a giant octopus never really fully embodied something I had to say about life, mine - yours- anyone's, that is not on their own. Using their image is purely an aesthetic choice...or is it? Now sure, I could get all profound and speak of their freedom, grace, even the danger they pose or face...but honestly - I just really like the appearance and fluidity of a sea creature, I connect to them (could be from growing up in Florida?). Placing these beings in a domestic setting suggests a feeling of being someplace one does not belong, or with company that they do not feel comfortable with.

Last year when I gave a lecture about my work (which I'm sure was a lecture I spoke much too fast through) I claimed that I used these anthropomorphic beings as a substitute for self. I half believe this, (and I am pretty sure everyone else bought it)...but it never seemed completely truthful as to why I use fish, as opposed to, lets say, dogs. I just like fish visually. I am aware that a being other than a discernible human is a better fit for my work at this time. I read three books at once, and I seem to work on my art this way as well....so a color palette might be shared along with a few recognizable elements among the pieces.

 

Back to clowns...

...Recently, I've been thinking more and more about them, the images and correlations bring me a flood of ideas and excitement.... 

...whatever floats my boat right? And there's oh so much info out there on the good and bad of clowns...soooo interesting.... Below are some of the things I've learned or come across that have me thinking...

...Clowns are happy and fun, aren't they?

"They make balloon animals, spray seltzer down their pants and hundreds of them fit into one tiny car."  Yet so many people are creeped out by them, some even fear them so much that there is a name for it, the official term is coulrophobia. 

It's been a while since I've read "It" by Stephen King, and don't remember much of it except that it scared me (but not enough to fear all clowns). And of course, there's always the story of John Wayne Gacy, that's a pretty scarey story!!! You remember (or maybe not), he was the serial killer who dressed up as Pogo or Patches the Clown to entertain children at parties and in children's hospitals. He killed more than 30 young men and buried their bodies under the floorboards of his house.

Bozo and Ronald McDonald freak some people out I assume, but never bothered me much. Clowns actually have never really scared me...but then again I've never run into one late at night in the alley behind Toys R Us.

I suppose those Jack-in-the-Box clown toys, you know the ones where you turn the handle and jump when the little stuffed clown pops out, isn't that a toy meant to scare...to teach our kids to be scared of clowns? Even the people working the festivals, who are making the balloon animals, have simplified their clown costumes, reducing them to a funny hat and red suspenders because they assume the children will be too afraid to ask their parents for a balloon animal from the freak in that colorful scary suit!

A few months ago I polled my Facebook friends to see who was scared of clowns....and lots and lots did not like them at all, and were worried for my work. :)

So, here's what I find interesting about Clowns and why I am exploring them:

Some interesting clown info:
The clown seems to live in a place of laughing and crying at the same time. I think that's pretty cool, and something we all do at some point in our lives, some people on a daily basis. Really, think about how often you are smiling at someone, pretending life is fine because you're in a professional setting....or just because you don't want to spill your guts in the line at the grocery store, while inside you're super sad about something.

I read that the thing about preforming as a clown is that it is all about staying open to the moment and thinking on your feet. That they are playing improv games and working in slapstick, and often being silly or dumbing down big picture issues. I think this is very similar to what visual artists do when addressing important global or personal issues, not always, but often. (It IS something I have been exploring in my work for years.) It's a way to draw the viewer in to the image and then the hope is that you can keep them there (NOT scare them away) and eventually they contemplate a more serious and profound meaning and understanding of the subject.)

Slapstick is a type of comedy involving exaggerated violence and activities which may exceed the boundaries of common sense. Now come on and admit it, you laughed when you use to watch those America's Funniest Videos and the guy bounced off a trampoline and landed on the fence hurting his you know what? Ok, maybe some of you men cringed, but you know what I mean. People getting a little hurt makes us laugh? WHY? Because there is something a little wrong with all of us. It's really weird, why on Earth do we laugh when someone trips and falls? Oh...you don't? It's just me? I don't necessarily have any being, creature or clown represented IN the act of being hurt, but I do propose the threat of danger. I think there is always a constant threat to life, whether it be happiness, love, dreams, expectations, etc...and that threat is something I choose to explore, “Set to Fry” (the Robots surrounded by sea creatures), and “Bedroom” (where the same is happening) are both examples of this.

Clowns apparently are considered "Fools". I've read that the character of the fool is an essential ingredient of human society, sad no? I suppose it's because we all have an Inner Fool, the child we once were that society doesn't allow us to express, or criticizes us if it slips out.

The "Fool" is the part of us that has never grown up, the part that only wants to play, be completely free of responsibility. I remember those days, and often am overwhelmed by what adulthood has brought to my life. Do you remember having so much time in a day that you would lay around on the living room floor making silly faces and sounds, or doodling, or just goofing around...and I'm talking about that daily big chunk of time that seemed to last forever, where you actually thought the day was endless? Where you wandered the streets or the woods with your friends with no concept of time or a place you NEEDED to be?

So while the clown seems to represent a lack of responsibility it is seemingly willing and able to save the world if necessary. Not that I have ever seen a clown super hero. Hey...why not? Maybe that will be my next venture. :)

The clown takes everything literally and personally, questioning everything...and unfortunately, this I can relate to. The clown wears his heart on its sleeve...again I can relate. The clown has the best of intentions (I'm not talking about the evil ones), again...I feel a connection. Clowns have no thought of failure, they leap naively into danger. The clown gets knocked down over and over again, and always gets up and tries again. Clowns in this sense are an embodiment of hope.

Perhaps the fish which I questioned to be a proper stand in for myself, has taken a backseat to the “Clown”. However, it can be argued that I am both the clown and the threat.

Children's toys have always been a interest of mine, my previous work used my favorite board games from my childhood as a catalysis to intrigue the viewer to look closer at what might have been uncomfortable subject matter. Now as a mother of a five year old boys, I am surrounded by toys more than anything else. I love this! Often I am the one who wants new toys and “gotta have it”, not my son. Having a funny silly child has definitely influenced my work and has given it a more cheerful and playful quality...allowing the work to flow in a looser more freer style. On any given day you can show up and we will sure to be “clowning around”. I know this is hardly the “formal” artist statement, but it is honest. I believe my work reflects that same honesty that I have come to value in life. I am not out to sound like the smartest, most intellectual artist. I strive to grow and make work that I enjoy. I draw and paint in order to keep the grumpy away. -That's the simple version. :-)

So to make a long story short...I'll be painting some clowns and fish for a while longer, and possibly a few more robots.